Saying Goodbye
by Eggpants The Abstract
Summary: When the team loses the Heavy Weapons Guy, Scout accompanies them to bury his body in Siberia.


How could I have let this happen? It wasn't _right._ It wasn't _fair._ I shouldn't have been there in the snow, freezing despite my heavy coat. None of us should have been. But the cold wasn't the hardest part of being in Siberia.

Nobody said a word as we trudged through the ice. I guess we hadn't yet accepted that he was no longer with us. It's funny, isn't it, how eight complete strangers become almost like family to you after awhile? I never really thought I'd care much if he was gone, but I guess I was wrong. A lump formed in my throat the instant I saw him there, laying on the ground, almost as if he was just asleep. He just looked so peaceful, and I kept secretly hoping he would open his eyes so I would know he's alive.

I choked back my tears and tried to focus instead on walking forward. Traversing Siberia was no easy task, after all. Just keep walking. Keep going. It all seemed so surreal. They normally had respawn in case anything went wrong, but it hadn't saved the Heavy Weapons Guy this time. We begged the Administrator to take a look at it, but she said nothing was wrong and we should stop being silly. I don't see what she finds "silly" about mourning the loss of a teammate and trying to prevent it from happening again, but that wicked old witch probably doesn't care about anyone enough to understand. I can't shake the feeling that she could have DONE something, could have saved the life of Heavy. But to her, we're nothing but toy soldiers, disposable and ready to do her bidding while she watches in amusement. It's not fair!

I remember just hours ago, when I had woken up to grab a snack and seen him sprawled across the floor. Sandvich crumbs were littered all around his body. Horrified, I woke everyone else up, and we came to the conclusion that someone had slipped poison into his sandviches. Medic investigated for a little while and then gravely pronounced him dead. Everyone was in shock. The whole base went silent, and everyone wondered what to do. I, for one, wasn't ready to accept his death. If he really _had_ died, he would have respawned, and everything would be back to normal. But Medic was a doctor and I wasn't. He knew what he was doing.

Eventually, we decided that it'd be best to bury him in Siberia. It's where he and his family had lived, after all. That's how I ended up here, helping to carry my teammate's heavy body with a heavier heart. If anyone else felt anything at all, they weren't showing it, and that made me angry. They had all fought beside him and lived alongside him.

If _anyone_ out of the eight of us left should be crying, it should be Medic. He spent so much time with the Russian. But he just gazed on ahead with the same cold stare he always had, as if the loss of the Heavy had no impact on him whatsoever. Doc had never been one to express many emotions (except for demented joy whenever he made a new discovery), but he shouldn't just be _standing_ there, acting like the fallen mercenary was disposable and insignificant. The only thing he really seemed to care about was that dove of his. I bet if Archimedes had been killed instead of Heavy, he'd be sad. Whenever we felt homesick, he'd tell everyone to stop being petty and childish. I wonder if he still thinks we're being petty and childish now?

Sniper and Spy had never been very sociable. Sniper prefers to keep to himself, and Spy has a certain disdain for his fellow mercenaries. Despite this, I still find it difficult to believe that neither of them have shed a single tear. Heavy was such an important part of the team, but neither of them seem to acknowledge that fact. Maybe they're both like Medic and they don't _have_ feelings. In fact, I'm starting to wonder that about everyone. They had all been through a lot together, but that doesn't seem to matter to any of them but me.

It's very difficult to tell what Pyro's feeling right now. I'd like to think it's at least a little bit sad, but knowing it, it probably doesn't even know what's going on. It never seems to be aware of its situation, almost like it's in its own separate world. Nobody's quite sure what goes on behind that mask, heck, nobody even knows if it's a man or a woman (or neither)! It's probably too absorbed in its own reality to care much about any of us. This is what makes it so terrifying. But I just wish that for once he would say something.

Soldier just keeps walking on. As with Pyro, it's hard to detect any emotions he may have, since his face is mostly obstructed by his helmet and his scarf. This came as a surprise to me, since he was always so loyal to his teammates. I was under the impression that he genuinely cared about us, but maybe I was wrong. All those times he yelled encouragement at us so we would do better, all those times he had helped us complete objectives, all the times he had talked to us made us think that he was our friend. But what kind of friend doesn't so much as let out a sniffle at the death of one of his comrades?

Demoman was straggling behind the group, drinking his scrumpy and blabbering nonsense all the way. Most of the time, Demo was drunk, but when he wasn't, he was a pretty awesome guy. He was best friends with Soldier, of course, but he got on with everyone pretty well. But now that the Heavy was gone, all he could do was drink. It didn't seem fair that everyone should shrug it off as if it was nothing when Heavy had been such an incredible part of the team. I'm trying not to cry, but tears are forming in my eyes, no matter how hard I try to fight them. How come nobody else even seemed to care? The Heavy Weapons Guy deserved more than this!

Most infuriating of all was Engineer. At least Soldier, Pyro, Demo, Medic, Sniper, Spy, and I actually bothered to show up. But Engie had opted to stay home and "protect the base." Who would even attack? It's a ceasefire, for God's sake! Seven of us had come to say our last goodbyes to our fallen comrade, but he couldn't be asked to come with us. He just called us all insane and told us we were dumb as dirt. I never thought of him as cruel or cold before, but he crossed a line there. What kind of heartless _monster_ does that? I feel sad and confused, but more than anything, I feel _mad._

We finally reached Heavy's old house. Soldier solemnly took his trusty shovel and began digging. At this point, I couldn't hold it in any longer. A single cold tear fell from my cheek and into the snow. Nobody said anything. Another ran down my face, and I tried to wipe it away before anyone could see, but more started to replace it. Sniper turned his head to look at me and walked over to stand beside me.

"It's alright, mate," he whispered.

"No, it's not! You don't understand, do you, Snipes? You don't have feelings!" I yelled at him. "Leave me alone!"

Sniper backed away. "Sorry, mate," he apologized.

"I AM DONE DIGGING! BRING PRIVATE HEAVY!" ordered Soldier. We all stepped forward and lowered the massive man into the grave. I took off my hat as we started to say our final farewells.

"You were good, son, maybe even the best," was all Soldier said.

"Mmmph!" added Pyro.

"Aye, laddie, watch out fer th' unicorn... they like te eat people like ye.." Demoman warned, words slurred. He was clearly still drunk.

"Auf weidersehen, Heavy," said Medic, plainly.

"Bye, mate. I'm gonna miss ya," Sniper commented. There was a hint of sadness in his voice, but not much.

"Goodbye," said Spy simply. At last, it was my turn.

"G'bye, Heavy. You were a great buddy, y'know. Thanks for everything."

Tears flowed freely from my eyes and onto the ground. Demoman reassuringly patted me on the back. Then, we agreed to take turns putting handfuls of snow and dirt into the grave. I was the first to go. I scooped up some of the snow in the pile beside the large hole and gingerly dropped it in.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed the Heavy, opening his eyes widely.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!" we all cried, jumping back suddenly in fear and surprise.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" he screamed.

"AHH! HE'S A ZOMBIE, GUYS! RUN!" I yelled. All eight of us sprinted off in different directions, hoping to escape before he could eat our brains. He climbed out of the hole and dusted off the snow all over his body.

"LEETLE TEAM BETTER COME BACK AND EXPLAIN!" he shouted after us threateningly.

"NO WAY, FATTY! YOU'RE GONNA EAT OUR BRAINS!" I responded, terrified.

"HEAVY IS NOT ZOMBIE! WHAT IS GOING ON?"

"Hey, guys, I think he's safe! Just be careful!" I called. Maybe he wasn't dead after all! "Dude, how did you even come back from the dead? I'm pretty sure that's, like, impossible."

"I did not die! Was just asleep! Leetle Scout is stupid!"

"Nonsense, Herr Heavy. You vere definitely dead. Zere was lethal poison in ze sandviches you vere eating," interrupted Medic, who had just made his way back.

"Stupid doktor! Was not poison! It was mayonnaise!" Heavy laughed.

We all felt a little silly at this point. Heavy just laughed, and we all started laughing along with him. When we got back home, we were greeted by Engie, who laughed in our faces and said "AH TOLD YOU SO!"

I've always had a dream of being an idiot when I grow up, but it was that day that I realized I already was.


End file.
